This is why I haven't been writing

I'm getting "scowl" wrinkles, it's not cool.

I'm behind and I know it.  

I'm behind on everything; bills, taxes, the times, and writing... I have been making notes of things to write about, notes that say things like; bird almost flew into face, can you blow me where the pampers is, uti university 







Problem is I have been really down and have been struggling to find any humor in anything. Sad, I know. 

OK, this amuses me slightly.

People stop me and tell me I've got great form when i walk!

As you all know I've been going to physical therapy for my back issues constant source of pain. I've been walking limping along, (hmm, that's got a nice ring to it. Should have named my blog limping along instead of swimming upstream), three to four miles a day, almost every day for the last couple of months. The last couple of weeks I have been noticing that my left foot is losing all feeling when I'm on these "walks". Thank you bulging discs, this has been a fun eight years, I can only hope we can be like this forever!

This is stubborn? Are her brains about to leak out of her head?

I was so certain that when the weather finally warmed up a bit, my pain would lighten up as well. WRONG!! If you know me, then you know how much I hate to be wrong or admit to being wrong. I am stupidly stubborn that way, emphasis on stupid.




Where was I? 

Ah, yes, in pain, as usual. My therapist recommended that I get a cortisone injection, In. My. Spine.

This is fun!

Let me tell you I've had a Spinal Tap when I was a child. My parents thought I had Spinal Meningitis as I had a horrible fever after playing with a dead mole. Wait, what? Why did I play with dead animals? I was a strange kid, that grew up to be became a strange adult. We'll touch on that subject at a later date. Needles in my spine, I recall being horribly traumatized, although I'm sure my age and my high fever contributed to the trauma. So all that aside, Sign. Me. Up!

Fast forward to yesterday; and my appointment to voluntarily have a needle full of steroids placed gently jabbed in my spine, to relieve my pain. I think playing with dead animals, had a lingering damaging effect on my brain.

Nice buns!

On the plus side, i had to get up very early and I barely had any sleep. I can deal with being cut-up and stabbed better when I'm sleepy. That being said, I definitely felt the needle go into my spine and REALLY felt the injection. And guess what? I get to do all over again in two weeks! SURPRISE! 



I am still in pain, but they say it takes about four days to get into your system and I may not feel any better for a couple of weeks. HA! Of course I won't feel better for a couple of weeks, that's when the next injection is scheduled!

If this doesn't work, Plan C will be implemented and of course involve more needles! 

Plan A - Ignore problem = FAIL
Plan B - Get steroids injected into spine - the jury is out on this one
Plan C - Acupuncture
Plan D - Drive into a train!

Wish me luck everyone!


Splendid then...

I bought a gopher...

I'm only halfway through Club Dead

I took a week off from my life and the blog world. Nothing much happened last week, other than I was in a foul mood and overly tired. You don't need to hear about that crap. I mostly laid around and read True Blood books. I am an avid watcher of the show and now I'm a rabid reader of the novels. 

I like to claim that I'm "I never learned how to read" as I grew up with those Reading is Fundamental commercials and it always struck me kind of funny. Reading does give me a headache as I totally need glasses; it's on my to do list of ailing body parts that I need to try and have fixed. Oh the joys of being in your forties.

This week we started on my back. I had my first Physical Therapy session since 2003. I have disc problems, L4/5 are bulging and cause me intense pain. Sometimes I am unable to get dressed without screaming in agony. So much fun for everyone! So the therapist was nice enough and we did a bunch of little tests and then he "manipulated" me and took all my money, and my back felt surprisingly better. Although as I am writing this 4 hours later, I am back to having significant pain. But that's OK, because. I. Bought. A. GOPHER! 

Carl, I want you to kill all the gophers on the course.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they'll lock me up and throw away the key.

 

Look, it's Billy Mays approved!

I jokingly mentioned to the therapist that I had been eying the gopher at the Walgreen's and he suggested that I buy the thing. He told me not to bend over at all the next few weeks and to get dressed sitting or laying down. Way to make me feel young doc!


So I spent $9.99 and immediately starting testing out the thing at the bar. It has suction cups on the grabber part and they don't quite "suction" to anything. If you lift something heavy, like say a can of beans, or a pint glass, it feels like it's going to break apart or drop said item. I was excited that Billy Mays approved it, but we all know that Billy loved him some cocaine, so these products are as sketchy as he was.

It's tough to be 42

I guess it's a good investment as I wasn't quite ready for this:








Lord knows if I keep bending over to pick stuff up, or simply trying to put on my shoes.  I will be laying on the ground crying that I can't get up!



Next up I will tell you a story about Market Basket and some fabulous items I have found there. Until then.



Splendid then...