My body is rejecting me

My cat would NEVER allow this!!

I'm not sure that I should be writing at all today as I am in one foul mood, (not to be confused with a fowl mood; I'm pretty sick of eating dead bird, but I continue to do so night after night).

I haven't blogged since my IBS diagnosis; if you missed it click here I know how I'm going to die

reason being is that I have been miserable, stressed out, and I came down with the  




DREADED SUMMER FLU.

Uh. That's not how I was infected!

I had aches, pains, fever and a horrible dry, hacking, cough. The coughing fits were what finally drove me to make an appointment with my doctor. 

I. Coughed. Up. Blood. 

I don't know what this guy is doing but I don't think he's coughing!

For the first time in my life, (I was a smoker for 27 years, never a drop of blood did I hack up), at least that I was fully aware of.


Of course, I was completely cured by Friday things took a turn for the worse right at the start of the long holiday weekend. So I had to hold out til Tuesday; or until I coughed up more blood or my fever went higher - whichever came first really. 

Tuesday came first and I did not have pneumonia or lung cancer, (although they really didn't test for that, I will have to talk to him about that), I had a bronchial infection. 

I shudder to think what she did to get the tampon to come out of her nose

I have been on antibiotics for the last four days and last night more blood made an appearance; this time it was coming from my nose! I'm no stranger to the bloody nose, but still I always feel like everyone is thinking "she must be doing a lot of cocaine"

 

Now we know what was under that bandanna!

Every time I get a bloody nose, (it's not often, I SWEAR!), my thought process ends up in the same place i did cocaine it must be a brain hemorrhage! I'm not a hypochondriac, but I do panic when I bleed my own blood!

 

Between the IBS, the bronchitis, and bleeding my own blood from stupid places my stress level is reaching epic heights. I'm almost ready to make someone else bleed.

Splendid then...

I bought a gopher...

I'm only halfway through Club Dead

I took a week off from my life and the blog world. Nothing much happened last week, other than I was in a foul mood and overly tired. You don't need to hear about that crap. I mostly laid around and read True Blood books. I am an avid watcher of the show and now I'm a rabid reader of the novels. 

I like to claim that I'm "I never learned how to read" as I grew up with those Reading is Fundamental commercials and it always struck me kind of funny. Reading does give me a headache as I totally need glasses; it's on my to do list of ailing body parts that I need to try and have fixed. Oh the joys of being in your forties.

This week we started on my back. I had my first Physical Therapy session since 2003. I have disc problems, L4/5 are bulging and cause me intense pain. Sometimes I am unable to get dressed without screaming in agony. So much fun for everyone! So the therapist was nice enough and we did a bunch of little tests and then he "manipulated" me and took all my money, and my back felt surprisingly better. Although as I am writing this 4 hours later, I am back to having significant pain. But that's OK, because. I. Bought. A. GOPHER! 

Carl, I want you to kill all the gophers on the course.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they'll lock me up and throw away the key.

 

Look, it's Billy Mays approved!

I jokingly mentioned to the therapist that I had been eying the gopher at the Walgreen's and he suggested that I buy the thing. He told me not to bend over at all the next few weeks and to get dressed sitting or laying down. Way to make me feel young doc!


So I spent $9.99 and immediately starting testing out the thing at the bar. It has suction cups on the grabber part and they don't quite "suction" to anything. If you lift something heavy, like say a can of beans, or a pint glass, it feels like it's going to break apart or drop said item. I was excited that Billy Mays approved it, but we all know that Billy loved him some cocaine, so these products are as sketchy as he was.

It's tough to be 42

I guess it's a good investment as I wasn't quite ready for this:








Lord knows if I keep bending over to pick stuff up, or simply trying to put on my shoes.  I will be laying on the ground crying that I can't get up!



Next up I will tell you a story about Market Basket and some fabulous items I have found there. Until then.



Splendid then...