Sometimes I am not funny

Echo, Echo, Echo...

Every once in a while the shit in my head piles up thick and I need to dump it somewhere. I usually try to make it funny as it easier to deal with on a laughable level,  but there are those inevitable moments like right now; where I cannot find the humor in anything. 

Another shit night at work...

 
I haven't written a blog in almost a year as I have a life-sucking, back breaking, knee quaking, soul less night shift job doing menial labor and getting alarmingly underpaid for the abuse. 

There is no such thing as too many bubbles...

I can't tell you how many times I have come home so physically beat up that I just lay in a scalding hot tub full of Epsom salts and sob. 

It's truly the perfect job for me; I have three herniated discs and two severely arthritic knees, so spending hours on end lifting heavy objects and being on my knees is ultimate for my current condition. My doctor is. So. Proud.  

Like Captain Picard; I am a master of this technique.

But seriously, let's get back to the non-humor here for a minute. One of my co-workers has been giving me grief lately because my hours haven't been as cut back as his and he is crying that it's unfair. 
Normally, I would smile and nod (my standard response to most situations/conversations with the insane), but this isn't the first time he has brought it up, and I was weakened by my lack of sleep and played into the insanity. 

Me: "We all got extra hours last week, if you answered your phone you could have worked too." 

*Gegg: "Well I had that kidney infection so, I couldn't work". 

 *actual name has been changed to protect the not so innocent.

This guy always has an excuse, and always mouths off about how he isn't going to answer his phone if they call, cause he doesn't want to work, yet he constantly bitches that his hours have been cut. Not to mention the fact that he works slower than the speed of sloth.

I. Bust. My. Ass. at this job. It's quite possibly the worst job I have ever had. But I go above and beyond; why? I. Don't. Know. 

I do know that when I work a shift on zero sleep and have other things piled up deep inside my crazy head, that I can't tolerate getting crap from someone that is LAZY.

The saddest part about all of this is; that I am looking forward to having double knee replacement surgery so that I don't have to work there anymore. Who the fuck in their right mind looks forward to surgery? 
I should have a lobotomy while I'm anesthetized.


Splendid then....

P.S. I have missed you all terribly and will try and make this blog a regular thing again. xoxoxo

I don't know why I let it get to me

I haven't been updating as much as I would like to. Working night shift has stolen my brain, and any ounce of giving a shit I may have once had. Although I am pretty certain, that I was well on my way to not giving a shit before I started this job.

I will fill you in briefly as to the happenings at the good old food factory. When I was hired back in September, store management was reasonable, professional, and didn't make up numbers on their computer that make the night crew progressively worse and worse as time flies on past.

They gave us hours and didn't tell us how much we sucked, so we were pretty content and motivated to do a good job.

I got along very well with my co-workers and my boss and was happy to go to work.

New management arrived on the scene around the holidays and for a while they let us be. Then, they started messing with our schedules and cutting our hours. Our night crew chief complained and tried his best to get us more hours. 

Smiley McFuckface is very smart

Fast forward to about two months ago; we started getting scheduled to come in at midnight on Sunday (saves them an hour of time and a half pay) and leave at eight am, so now we are putting up the biggest load of the week and the last hour, we have to deal with customers (we are on night shift for a reason, we hate people). 

Soon after, they started the MANDATORY MONDAY MORNING FUCK SHOW, aka a meeting scheduled at 7:30 am, thus losing a half an hour of productivity so that they can tell us that we suck. When we ask questions, we don't get answers and are treated like children.

The past month we have been getting up the full loads and getting little to no thanks or acknowledgement, in fact; we keep getting told that our numbers are getting worse. 

This past week, we had a guy on vacation and a guy out sick. The guy on vacation works in frozen, so we had to send one of our guys to do frozen, which left us with three people on several nights. Not enough to get the loads up.

SMFF doesn't like questions. He's

 

 taking his ball home and telling mom!

So, today the head honcho (aka Smiley McFuckface, or simply SMFF), starts in on us right away, no "good morning" or anything civil. When we ask questions about how he is coming up with these numbers, he gets aggravated, doesn't answer, and yells that it's his meeting and he's not to be interrupted. Someone asked another question and he snapped and yelled that the guy was interrupting and being disrespectful and then got up and declared the meeting to be over and stormed out of the room. Five seconds later, he sent one of his minions in to call our crew chief into his office, to surely rip him a new one, for questioning his stupidity, err... ah authority.

All I could say, was I have not seen such childish and unprofessional behavior at such a high level of management. This guy has no clue how to deal with people. He only knows his imaginary numbers made up by his magical computer. I have had many jobs in my life, and I have run my own business. The more meetings we have, the more this guy comes off as a spoiled little boy, that is a complete moron.
 

Yup, Fatty McDoucheface, in the flesh!

He and his main minion (aka Fatty McDoucheface), seem to be on some sort of power trip. They don't have a clue as to why we don't seem motivated....

It frightens me, to the core, that this world is being taken over by the greedy, the ignorant and the lazy. Oh and lest we forget the douchey.

I have been actively looking for another job, since the very first meeting. I'm an adult, I don't need to be treated poorly for little money and back breaking work. I can only hope that these douche bags fall flat on their face... It's too bad, really because I love my crew chief and everyone that I work with...

Splendid then...

Showers can be magical...

I've been sick all weekend and lazing around in bed watching bad TV and playing scrabble online. All the while hoping for a speedy recovery in anticipation of one of the greatest holidays ever - Presidents Day!

Jaws III in 3D I must be sick!

Nipsy forgot his 3D glasses!

Last night I hung my Presidents Day stocking by the space heater with care in hopes that President Lincoln would soon be here. When I woke up, there were no presents!  What gives Abe?  I was expecting a new car or a mattress set from Sleepys and I get nothing; Worst Presidents Day EVER!

Lincoln knows if you've been naughty or nice!

So I'm texting with a friend, (Screw you spell check, texting is an action word!), and she's telling me that she's feeling unmotivated and what not, (preaching to the choir, if you look up unmotivated or lazy, I'm certain there is a picture of me and my cat watching 3D movies without the glasses - See! Lazy!), where was I?  

Unmotivated. Yes, so she ended up showering and it not only made her feel better and motivated, but she was also clean!  Also she said something about how being dirty and smelly makes you feel 10 times worse, and how she almost felt like she had purpose now; hysterical!

Me: Wow, really?  That sounds magical, I'm going to try it!

See, when I don't feel well and I'm lazing about, I often forget the possibility that bathing might help to enhance my mood, and reduce the stench that...Whoa, is that me?  I need some magic!

I just googled lazy and unmotivated and this was the first picture - Wow...

Not a lot of content here today people, but hey, it's a holiday and you should all be thankful that I bathed.

Splendid then...