Yay for honest people!

Photo of my hungry blog

I've been neglecting my blog responsibilities lately. This is why I don't have children or a dog. If I had to feed and water this blog, it would certainly have died a month ago.

 

I gained so much my scale is frightened!

I recently had a physical and my doctor asked me yet again, how much I drink and smoke! I guess I have to resign myself to the fact that every time I have an appointment with him, he is going to ask me these questions. At least this time he was excited that I quit smoking, and he complimented me on my red hair. He also didn't get on me too much about how much weight I have gained since I quit smoking.


I have also been going to Physical Therapy for my bad back.  As you know from my earlier blog, I bought a gopher...,  , Which, by the way, I realized the night that I purchased my gopher that I need a gopher for my gopher! I dropped the damn thing!  This weeks homework, in addition to not bending over, (which is incredibly difficult; you don't realize how much you do it 'til you're told you can't), I was told to practice standing and sitting properly, (yes, I was doing it all wrong), and walking an hour everyday. I may have to walk at the mall or something as this winter just won't leave! Get the message already Old Man, it's Springtime according to my calendar! Stupid New England winter!

Typical July weather here in New England!

Time for an intervention!

 I started the walking thing today and I walked to work, which took 10 minutes tops. 50 more minutes to go...I did a few things at work and decided finish up those lingering 50 minutes and test out this training program app that I have on my crack berry. I promptly retardedly clipped my phone onto my front left jeans pocket (I never use the clip), and set off on my walk around town. 

Fucking Salem!

I must have crossed the streets about four times and was heading up a slight incline to walk around the Salem Commons, (where hippies play frisbee, yuppies walk dogs, and Wiccans have strange rituals), and I went to look and see how much progress I had made when low and behold my phone was no longer clipped to my jeans pocket!


I calmly frantically checked all of my pockets while I slowly ripped my headphones off my head and back tracked cautiously hysterically my entire route praying cursing out loud the entire way. I made it back to the bar and called my phone fully expecting it to go to voice mail. A man answered! Finally a bit of luck! I told him where I was and he drove there in less than two minutes!


He said he saved it from being run over! I could tell it had taken a small hit and was grateful for his honesty and thankful that my phone still worked perfectly. 


Sorry to anyone that's paying attention to my blogs, as I was supposed to write about the joys of shopping at Market Basket. My good fortune stupidity has pushed it back until next time. I promise it will be entertaining!


Splendid then...

I bought a gopher...

I'm only halfway through Club Dead

I took a week off from my life and the blog world. Nothing much happened last week, other than I was in a foul mood and overly tired. You don't need to hear about that crap. I mostly laid around and read True Blood books. I am an avid watcher of the show and now I'm a rabid reader of the novels. 

I like to claim that I'm "I never learned how to read" as I grew up with those Reading is Fundamental commercials and it always struck me kind of funny. Reading does give me a headache as I totally need glasses; it's on my to do list of ailing body parts that I need to try and have fixed. Oh the joys of being in your forties.

This week we started on my back. I had my first Physical Therapy session since 2003. I have disc problems, L4/5 are bulging and cause me intense pain. Sometimes I am unable to get dressed without screaming in agony. So much fun for everyone! So the therapist was nice enough and we did a bunch of little tests and then he "manipulated" me and took all my money, and my back felt surprisingly better. Although as I am writing this 4 hours later, I am back to having significant pain. But that's OK, because. I. Bought. A. GOPHER! 

Carl, I want you to kill all the gophers on the course.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers, they'll lock me up and throw away the key.

 

Look, it's Billy Mays approved!

I jokingly mentioned to the therapist that I had been eying the gopher at the Walgreen's and he suggested that I buy the thing. He told me not to bend over at all the next few weeks and to get dressed sitting or laying down. Way to make me feel young doc!


So I spent $9.99 and immediately starting testing out the thing at the bar. It has suction cups on the grabber part and they don't quite "suction" to anything. If you lift something heavy, like say a can of beans, or a pint glass, it feels like it's going to break apart or drop said item. I was excited that Billy Mays approved it, but we all know that Billy loved him some cocaine, so these products are as sketchy as he was.

It's tough to be 42

I guess it's a good investment as I wasn't quite ready for this:








Lord knows if I keep bending over to pick stuff up, or simply trying to put on my shoes.  I will be laying on the ground crying that I can't get up!



Next up I will tell you a story about Market Basket and some fabulous items I have found there. Until then.



Splendid then...