Friday, August 23, 2013

August is a bitch...

I have been so patient...

Maybe the little guy is rabid...
Since April I have had NO INCOME, NO UNEMPLOYMENT, NO steady stream of MONEY. Surgery is stressful enough, add in worrying about existing and it really messes with your mind, your body, your very core. I could be far worse off right now. I am fortunate to have surrounded myself with some amazing, generous souls, without their help I would have been screwed completely. 

Recovering from double partial knee replacement has been, as one can imagine, slow and painful. I have deemed this summer to be the summer of the snail. Baby steps, slow progression. 

Slow is the new fast...
I have been battling with the good old D.U.A. and I have recently suffered through one hearing with myself and an agent and now I get to suffer through one more with Stop and Shop. I'm certainly not trying to cheat the system. I paid into this very broken mess and now that I NEED help, I have met with nothing but bureaucratic insanity and absolute frustration. 

I'm on my last leg, I have NO CHOICE but to win this appeal. I can no longer afford my apartment and have to move, with no money I have few options, and with a cat, fewer. Even if I had money, I would be moving out of here; after 19 years it's definitely time. I have looked into roommates/sharing ads on good old Craigslist, (just to see what's out there), and wow! It is more expensive than getting an apartment with someone.The only interesting deals on there apply to gay men. I have been looking for a job and sending resumes/filling out apps. Not a single bite... 

If I had a solid answer on any aspect of my life right now, I could breathe a bit easier...Will I have money and back pay? Where will I live? Will I find a decent job? Will my phone be shut off before I get any money? These questions and more, may or may not be answered anytime soon.

I haven't been sleeping well, it takes hours to get to sleep and then I wake up repeatedly until I give up and start the day again. It's like groundhog day over here, everyday is EXACTLY the same. I'm ready for change, (and I think it's all coming at once), I'm not good with it, but I'm ready. I have not struggled for nothing, I will be rewarded...

August is a bitch... It has been a struggle of a month for me for the last five years... I have come so far.

Rest in peace

  Dave "Roz"umek 8/12/08

Jocelyn Callahan 8/25/08
The coolest cat I had the pleasure to 
love Nipsy" sir licks a lot" Russell 8/25/12

Stay buried whiskey and every bad choice that came with you 8/30/08

1 comment:

  1. Hey Girl !
    I know that things have been tough for you ~ but You are a strong girl and you will persevere. I like the pic of Dave, brings back many good memories. That's what he would want....for the good times to remain close to our hearts ! Here for you 24/7 Anytime ! <3