Saturday, February 26, 2011

Apparently I ate everything this winter...

I'm there somewhere without a tent...
Today started out badly.  I had some crazy dream where I was hiking/camping this mountain with some guy I don't know in the pouring rain with thunder/lightning all over the place, at night.  We didn't have a tent.  At one point we had left the mountain and had dinner with some other people that I don't know.  Then I was randomly at my restaurant where everyone I ran into was complaining about the roof leaking and the cold temperature.  Randomly back into my hike with a stranger and I woke up right before I was going drink a beer.  Apparently I was moaning and making noises the whole time.  I woke up exhausted.

At this point I needed coffee and I ate four blueberry waffles (didn't need). Then it was time to get dressed and battle another day at the restaurant.  The one pair of jeans I have been wearing, need to be washed; so I couldn't wear them.  I was going to wear a ratty pair that were big on me last winter and low and behold;  They. Didn't. Fit.  Three pairs later and I'm in tears.

"I'm going to look like a giant marshmallow when it finally gets warm outside."

* sobbing

I've seen my future and it looks almost exactly like this:
My future is very FAT

I quit smoking just so I could become a hideous blob of FAT 

I said to myself, "Gee, now that I don't smoke anymore, I could really use about 30 extra pounds all in my belly." 

I quit smoking and started eating for two.

So, no more pies, cookies, cakes, or anything fried. I've seen my future, hell I've already been there and back. 

I'm scared!

Splendid then...

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